


No Sound

by theLiterator



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-07
Updated: 2011-06-07
Packaged: 2017-10-20 05:38:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theLiterator/pseuds/theLiterator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ficlet about mage!Hawke and Fenris. Pretend they ever actually share a bed together in canon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Sound

Garrett feared the Fade. It wasn't a place of safety and sweet dreams and the ability to remember passed loved ones like stories said it ought to be for everyone, like he knew it was for his mother and even his brother.

He knew it was his fault, of course, or those like him, so long before, who had brought darkness to the Golden City, so he tried to suffer in silence, to wrench himself out of nightmare lands where spirits whispered promises of eternal life and power and gold in his ears, touched his dream-self, tantalizing caresses of whisper and flesh.

He was used to muffling his startled awakenings in his pillow, breathing deep and slow until he stopped sweating with terror, and lying awake until it seemed a reasonable hour to actually emerge from his bed. It was small price to pay, he thought, in return for the awful things he could do if provoked.

What he hadn't counted on was rolling over one night and finding silky hair and the delicate shape of an ear instead of his pillow. His hands clenched and he felt three defensive spells rise near completion under his skin, enough to destroy the intruder, but he remembered just in time, and gasped aloud.

"Maker," he whispered. So close, so, so close, and Fenris was watching him with wide, intelligent eyes that he couldn't bear to meet.

"I dream, sometimes," Fenris said hesitantly. "Of the men I killed. The women, more, and the-- the children."

It was an opening, the opportunity to bare his soul to Fenris, but Fenris did not deserve that, not when the elf had so much of his own guilt to carry.

But of its own accord, his mouth opened, and before he could stop the words, he said, "They show me Bethany and Carver, they tell me I can bring them back if I just--" he cut himself off, and his teeth clicked when he snapped his mouth closed.

"You want to accept," Fenris said plainly. Garrett tried to respond, to put into words the conflicting desires every night's rest exposed in him. He laughed into Fenris's hair instead, sharp and bitter and self-loathing.

"It would be so much easier to say yes. And that's all I can think-- not that they're telling the truth, or that I might actually see my sister and brother again, or my parents, or... anyone, really-- but that maybe if I say yes, then I can _sleep._ "

"I'll protect you," Fenris swore quietly. "It is all I am, you know. Bodyguard and bodyslave to mages. At least it will allow me to do what I am best at."

Garrett reached for Fenris's hand in the dark, not moving his head from where it was pressed awkwardly to Fenris's.

"You know I don't... I wouldn't. I." Fenris flipped them both around, cutting off whatever he might have been about to say.

"Exactly," Fenris said, voice low and hoarse. "I _know_."

Garrett stared helplessly into his eyes and he felt utterly helpless in that frank, fierce gaze.

"Sleep, Hawke. Trust me, if not yourself, and _rest_."


End file.
